Peace and Joy

I feel so blessed from my participation in the Praying with Scriptures group. It really has been a source of peace and joy for me! Which should come as no surprise, since the theme for Week 2 was Peace, and the theme for Week 3 was Joy.

The reading I chose for Week 2 was John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” What a beautiful, comforting passage. The first day I meditated on it, I was truly filled with peace. But as luck would have it, the next day my heart became troubled, despite the words directing it to be otherwise. The reason for my troubled heart isn’t really important, and in the end what prompted it was quite inconsequential. But I had fallen back to my old habit of playing out the same scenario over and over in my head, thinking that I should have acted differently, and beating up on myself for making what I considered a stupid decision.

But this time I felt better equipped to deal with my doubts. I continued to focus on the words “Peace I leave with you” and “Do not let your heart be troubled” whenever I began to play out the past. I also repeated the mantra “This too shall pass away”, which Father De Mello re-introduced in his video on Peace. But it was another scripture, one that was not on the list of recommended readings, which brought me true comfort. As I lay awake in the early morning hours, the passage “I am with you always.” popped into my head. And for some reason, meditating on that phrase, I knew that all was well.

I came to realize that even though my periodic insomnia is annoying, the Lord is with me through it all. Indeed, whatever is bothering me will certainly pass away, but it will, in all likelihood, be replaced with another episode of self-doubt somewhere down the road. But it really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things. Christ is with me when my heart is troubled, He is with me when my heart is filled with joy, and He will be with me when I encounter troubles in the future. That thought brought both peace and joy to my troubled heart.

In the sharing portion of our prayer group, it was interesting to hear the reactions the others had to the various readings. One participant pointed out that everything we know on earth, both the good and the not so good, will pass away at the end of our lifetimes. How true! I usually trot out my “This too will pass” mantra when things aren’t going my way, but even the good things in life will pass away when my life is over. But how much better all will be then, when I’m with the Lord in eternity!

Another interesting observation was made by one of the program facilitators. He said that when the disciples finally recognized their companion on the road to Emmaus as the risen Lord, they didn’t berate themselves for not having known Him sooner. They didn’t focus on their past blindness, or try to analyze their short-comings – they were simply filled with joy at His presence! I will have to emulate their actions in the future, finding joy in life instead of focusing on past mistakes.

And speaking of joy, this week’s readings were truly wondrous! So many of them reinforced what I discovered in the early morning hours when Jesus reminded me that He would be with me always: that the presence of God is my true and lasting source of joy, in this lifetime and the next.

“Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” (Psalm 51:12)

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11)

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:11)