Lessons I’ve learned from ballroom dancing

Lately I’ve spent a lot time trying to improve my skills in ballroom dancing. While I’ve noticed some progress over that past several months, I have to admit that I’m not a quick study. Despite my best intentions, I still find I sometimes let the mechanics of the steps impede the flow of the dance. Recently, while attempting to learn a complex waltz pattern, one of my partners told me that I was fighting his lead. His comment really jarred me. I wasn’t intentionally trying to work against him! I thought that I was moving according to his lead, but that was obviously not the case. I guess I was more focused on how to execute the new steps than on the cues my partner was giving me with his body.

Later, it occurred to me that I might be having the same issues while trying to discern God’s will. Perhaps I’m focused on details (should I volunteer here? apply to work there? go back to school?) instead of going in the general direction the Lord is leading me. Maybe I’m even fighting His lead, thinking I know the steps better than the Lord knows the dance. I think back to one of the central themes of the book ‘Hearing God’, where Dallas Willard talks about being in the will of God. He writes “…being in the will of God is very far removed from just doing what God wants us to do—so far removed, in fact, that we can be solidly in the will of God, and be aware that we are, without know God’s preference with regard to various details of our lives.” So what does it mean for me to live in God’s will? I believe it means living a prayerful, charitable, and spirit-filled life, no matter what activities I pursue. And, as St. Paul writes in Corinthians 13:13, to have “faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

So now that I am dancing my way through retirement, with the Lord as the best partner I could possibly have, I have found other parallels between dancing and life. Here are some principles I’ve learned from ballroom dancing that can be applied to my relationships with family, friends, and God:

1) Always maintain a good connection. Let your partner know you’re there and that you’re aware of the communication between the two of you.

2) Keep a strong frame, with back straight and arms toned. Sloppy frames lead to miscues and ambiguous signals.

3) Keep your head up at all times … never look at your feet! You need to know in what direction you’re headed, not how you’re going to get there.

4) Keep your shoulders down – don’t try to be taller than you really are.

5) Leaders, place your partner where she needs to be. Followers, settle into your partner’s arm. Be where you belong in the relationship.

6) Move together as a unified couple. Don’t be rising when your partner is falling, or taking your turns too early or too late.

7) Keep your knees bent so you can be flexible when executing turns and taking long strides.

8) Stay close when making turns. The toughest times require close proximity.

9) Don’t fight the lead!

In ballroom dancing, the man is usually the leader and the woman the follower; in other relationships, having a designated leader and follower works well in some situations and not in others. But in our relationship with God, He is always the leader. If we maintain a good connection with Him, keep our receptive arms firm so we feel His guiding touch, look to where He wants us to go, stay true to ourselves, settle ourselves into His arms, move in step with Him, remain flexible, and stay ever close in times of trouble, our dance will be a thing of beauty, grace and elegance.